day thirteen

I will admit...I have drastically fallen behind my writing...we will just see how long this challenge takes me :-)

9:20 pm-9:35 pm. Prompt: reflection on an experience

I had an amazing opportunity to take part in Project Unbreakable (http://projectunbreakable.tumblr.com/) last weekend in Asbury Park, NJ. My photo was posted today and rather than the apprehension that I thought I would have...I am so happy. I am happy because I took this step, it allowed me to realize that I am at the point in my journey and that I am looking to the future instead of looking back.

I am not saying that I am forgetting what happened to me. I am always going to use it as a fire under my butt but I will not use it to define me all of who I am.

I am so much more than a survivor.

I am a daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, mentor, supervisor, colleague, writer (when I want to be), photographer, nerd, dork...so much more than JUST a survivor. I have many people in my life who remind me of that...and I consider myself so blessed to have them.

I am still waiting to see what more I am going to be adding to who I am.

Project Unbreakable Website:
http://projectunbreakable.tumblr.com

Project Unbreakable Facebook
https://www.facebook.com/projectunbreakable

Day twelve

"birthday wish come true"

Time: 11:10-11:24. Prompt: iPhone application.

When I blew the candle out on my drink I felt different. I couldn't describe the feeling but I did.

Going home that night was a blurr...that was probably the alcohol in my body.

The next morning I woke up and immediately knew what I felt the night before...I was 25...a quarter century. I still have a lot to live...25 is still a big number.

Checking my voicemail I had the typical well wishers. The last one was from my mom reaching out for our traditional conversation.

"hey baby, happy birthday. Remember that you are allowed to tell one person in the world your wish."

I chuckled and paused for a moment trying to remember my wish.

"oh yea," I said to my cat Josie, "something interesting to happen." that had been my wish for a few years because while my job could be exciting,..it had stopped keeping me interested a while ago. And as a write in my free time...I craved interesting.

I glanced up at the sunflower retro clock in my living room and realized I was going to be late for work.

But little did I know what I was in for this year.

Checking

Day eleven

"I like you crazy" he said

Time: 12:45 pm-12:30 pm. Prompt: from iPhone application

"I don't get you," I replied feeling the fury start to build up in my chest. I hate being called crazy. It's so demeaning and it's something that just isn't true!

"What's not to get?"

"You flirt with me, lead me to think that you like me, and then call me crazy"

"but I like crazy"

"I HATE," pausing to emphasize the word "crazy as a descriptor for a woman. It's so demeaning."

"I see it as exciting, but if that's what you want...than that's what you'll get."

"Thank you. Good bye" and I went back to my book.

I thought that he was gone but a minute passed and I heard him whisper

"I like her." And I heard him walk away.

Day ten

You find a dry branch in the snow that turns into a magic wand in your hands.

Time 12:01-12:06 a (a little late for today I know) prompt: from iPhone application

The snow had been surprisingly light that whole winter. The most snow we got in New Jersey was 2 inches in October and a few more inches here and there from November to March.

"global warming" they said..."it's 2012...more proof that the world is going to end in December."

It didn't stop when we had the freak blizzard that dumped 14 inches on campus 2 days after Easter.

Of course I was out exploring the snow and enjoying the fact that my mid west upbringing has allowed me to be out and about while the rest of the state was in..,afraid of the snow.

I was on my way to the supermarket when in a field next to the market I saw a spot of green in the middle of the field that appeared to be untouched my the snow.

I decided to wander out to the opening and see what it was.

10 minutes of struggling through the snow got me to the clearing where I found...nothing. Nothing but a large stick that appeared to have a glint to the bark.

I picked up the branch to get a closer look. The moment my hand touched the bark it transformed into a sturdy wand.

Glancing around I could tell that no one had seen my discovery. I waived the wand...

And nothing happened

No seriously...nothing happened.

So I focused on the idea of making my friend float. I waived the wand again, focused on my floating friend.

Nothing happened.

I wanted to pitch the wand to the horizon. But there was something that made me keep it. I stick it in my purse and forget about it.

2 weeks later I was in my office going through meeting after meeting of conduct. This wasn't new...but it was a new change. It was nice...but something felt off about every single one of my conduct meetings taking responsibility for their actions.

The next day the same thing happened. I couldn't figure out why. Two days later I forgot my purse and the mysterious wand at home. That was the day from hell...no one wanted to listen. Staff misbehaved, residents went crazy, and even professional staff went a little nuts.

I just didn't get it. And then it hit me...the wand wasn't really a wand...it was more like social Prozac. When it was in my office people became less crazy, residents took responsibility for their actions, and when parents call they were more helpfully that demanding.

Day nine

Yes i know its been a week...im back and it will get better.

Write about geography. Pick a random place on a map and write about it. If you haven't been there, imagine what it would be like.

Time: 9:20 pm-9:32 pm, prompt from iPhone application

Palatine hill is just minute or so from the magnificent colosseum in Rome. It is a quiet space in bustling Rome. Even though tourists go there (I mean when you pay for entry to the colosseum, the forum, and Palatine hill of course people go...it's just the quiet of the site seems to be impervious to the sounds around

Quiet, peaceful, and someplace that I will always remember as a place where I started my journey towards being a survivor...yes it had been 3 years since my assault...It was that trip that showed me that I didn't have to dwell on the past. That looking toward the future would be the best.

The picture that I posted with this post is one of my favorite from the trip. It didn't quite capture the moment...but it gets really close.

Day eight

Write about three things that really bother you.

Time 10:25. Prompt from an iPhone ap.

I know I swore this wouldn't be a writing blog that turns into a "how I feel today" blog...so I decided to do this on a day that I felt really good about life in general.

1.) people who do not take responsibility for their own actions.

Day eight

Write about three things that really bother you.

Time 10:25-10:35. Prompt from an iPhone ap.

I know I swore this wouldn't be a writing blog that turns into a "how I feel today" blog...but I wanted to do the other side of the coin from my post yesterday

1.) people who do not take responsibility for their own actions and depend on others to fight their battles

2.) When TV characters dont do what I think they should

3.) When MY characters dont do what I tell them to...

Day seven

Write about three THINGS that really make you happy.

Time: 11:25-11:38 prompt from writing.com "Writing Prompts" iPhone application.

I chose this because it was kinda a crappy day and I had a moment and I needed to do this to remind myself about the good stuff. This is not the whole list...it was the first 3 things that came to my mind.

1.) sunsets. We see them everyday and yet they never once look the same. From where the sunsets on the horizon (based on the time of year) to the feelings that are tied to that specific sunset. Regardless of how I feel about that particular sunset...when watching it I know that I am incredibly lucky to see it and that tomorrow will be another adventure.

2.) traveling. I love the adventure that each trip brings to me. From venturing out to explore Rome and stumbling across an amazing pizza joint where I got some of my favorite memories from the trip. To seeing the Giza Pyramids with my Mom an getting all of the..."fun" that came across our paths on that trip. I know that no matter what happens on the trip I know that I'm going to come away different than when I left.

3.) my memories of home/friends/family. When in having a bad day, the memory of my friends or an adventure that my family has had. Those memories get me through the homesickness when it comes up.

Day six

Time: 11:15-11:30 prompt: from a list I created before I started this challenge because my phone restarted and I lost the writing I did for another prompt.

1.) see the northern lights
2.) get published...preferably in print
3.) go back to Italy and spend more time in the Vatican museum
4.) weigh below 200 pounds
5.) speak in public about my assault and journey from victim to thriver
6.) dive the Great Barrier Reef
7.) visit Bag End (in NZ)
8.) run some sort of race (5k, 10k, half, or full)
9.) get my PhD
10.) visit both sides of the niagara falls

Day five

If life is a TV channel, I'm currently on ...

Time: 10:55-11:05 prompt from iPhone application (which I will link to one of these days)

If life is a TV channel, I'm currently on not one specific channel. More of bouncing between a few.

When I'm at work I'm either in TruTV (especially when I'm on duty) or The Comedy channel simply because I have to laugh about somethings that I encounter or overhear on a daily basis.

When I'm with my boyfriend it is on...HBO playing a steady stream of movies. The two of us really enjoy watching and discussing movies.

When I'm working out its MTV or VH1 playing peppy music for my workout.

When I'm with friends it's probably on the travel channel...dreaming about future trips.

And when I'm alone the tv isn't on...I'm reading my Kindle.

Day four

@toasted_cheese Rain dancing on a lake #amwriting #writingprompt #TCPrompts

12:30 pm-12:45 pm Prompt inspired by a memory

Camp was a home for 12 years. It was where I lived for during the school year and was that girl who went "well at camp we..." One of my favorite memories was whenever it thunder stormed. Especially when we were in the tents...the sound of the thunder and the rain hitting the tents...was my favorite part.

One rainstorm during one of my years as a counselor I was walking past the lake and the beauty that I saw stopped me in my tracks.

Every time a drop of water hit the surface of the lake ripples would start but get cut off by another set of ripples. The whole dance was a ballet of movement on the water...I just loved it. I stood there for 20 minutes just transfixed by this...it wasn't until a bolt of lightening followed quickly by a clap of thunder that shook me out of my trance that the water put me in. I then went back to my tent and enjoyed the 'drip, drip, drip' of the water on my tent.

Day three

You hear a baby crying, but you know you are alone

Time: 10:55-11:15 prompt from the iPhone app

The family warned me that this would happen. I remember that...mrs smith said (and I quote) "at around 9pm you will hear a baby crying but do not be alarmed...we're not sure where it comes from. But all we know is that it's not ours"

My first thought was 'why haven't you figured more out that when it happens?' but I held my tongue as the family was paying me much more than this house sitting job warranted..I wasn't going to screw it up.

The thing is that the crying didn't stop... I had expected a few cries and that was that. But it didn't stop at one or two cries but it went on and on for 10 minutes. After a while I couldn't stand it so I got up and started trying to follow the sound. I wandered the house for a good hour before I pinpointed the sound to a hallway.

As I started to narrow down where the cries were coming from they were getting gradually quieter the further I wandered down the hall. I was opening every door hoping I could see the culprit of the crying.

Finally I reached the last door. As I turned the handle the crying stopped. I opened the door and there on the single bed (the only piece of furniture in the room) was mrs smith sitting cross legged on the bed with a big smile on her face.

"I'm impressed...you lasted almost 45 minutes longer than any other of the house sitters. It's a shame I have to kill you now."

Day two

@toasted_cheese: In honour of Rush Limbaugh: write about (a) wearsluts and/or (b) bewaresluts #amwriting #writingprompt #TCPrompts

Time: 11:05-11:35 prompt from @toasted_cheese...because it made me giggle.

There are two types of girls that go out to a frat party on a Friday night in Wisconsin. As a security desk worker I get to see them go out and then come back in later during the night. You could say that I see them traveling to their natural habitat.

The first type of college girl is "a WAREslut"...now typically I don't use that word because of the negative imagery for women (can you tell I'm a woman's studies major?) . But in this case it fits...this type of college girl goes all out girly/sexy for a party that happens in one of the 2 weeks a year where we have halfway decent weather that doesn't require 14 layers to leave the building. When the weather turns sour (again) they dress more conservatively and are aWARE of the weather and the problems that it could bring.

The girls to watch for are what I call the BEWAREsluts. These girls are usually the ones that dress girly/sexy for the party every week regardless of the weather. I watch them leave during a snowstorm with short skirts, high heals, and maybe (but not usually) a north face jacket. That is when I start making predictions if I will see her coming back tonight with her shoes and no other random jackets...typically they arrive back with multiple extra jackets and her high heals in her hands. I really want to see how she goes from 8:00 pm fully clothed and 1-2am (typically) a hot mess.

I think this could be a good study of campus culture...maybe I will look at changing my major to anthropological studies...if I keep this job I will have my college capstone.

Day One

Time: 9:48 PM-10:00 PM

Prompt:
The vacation cottage you rented for the summer has a locked room, which you break into and...

I had to push the door hard. I felt like I was going to bruise my shoulder before the damn door would open. I pushed and pushed and pushed...and suddenly the door popped open. Like it was waiting for the exact number of pushes before it would open.

The door creaked open and I took a breath before I stepped in. And saw that time had not touched this room...the crib, changing table, and rocker stood in silent tribute to the missing occupants.

There were 2 things that I noticed after I took in the sights of the hidden room. The first was that there was a half empty bottle sitting on the arm of the rocker. I could see Mom setting the bottle down after feeding her baby and walking away from the room forever. The second was the obvious foot print that was made in the thick layer of dust on the wall directly in front of me. Considering the work I had put into getting into the room I had no idea how the foot print got there.

Undaunted I took in the room and the contents. As I reached towards the forgotten bottle I heard a step somewhere in the house. Before I could process the fact that I was alone in the house...the world went black.

Day 366: forgot that it was a leap year and I needed to post one more picture

It is amazing how much this ring means to me in such a short period of time

New year, new challenge!

Now that my 365 days of happiness project is done I now need to figure out what to do with this blog.

While i was considering ideas i looked at what i do to make myself happy. I have found that I do a few things consistently...my mood is better and I feel less stressed out. Those are:

-working out-seems simple but I'm discovering that I am a nicer/less stressed person if I work out on a regular basis. Right now I'm at 4 days a week either going into my local Curves or using either Zumba or Your Fitness Evolved for the XBox.

-spending time with my boyfriend

-reading-I thank my Kindle for letting me do this one...

-writing-exercising the creative person in me and working on the story ideas I have bouncing around in my head.

Now I have the first 3 taken care of but...I let my writing fall by the wayside way to often. So...I am committing to do something small but for me...incredibly important.

I am going to commit to writing at least 10 minutes a day. And to make the stakes a little higher and having something to hold myself accountable I am going to transform this 1 photo a day blog into my 10 minutes a day blog.

This means I am going to post the random scenes that pop into my head, conversations that I overhear, what I am looking at, or if I get stumped for what to write about I will choose a tweet from @toastedcheese. This will not be a place I air what is going on in my life...directly. What I choose to write about may reflect what I write though...

to make this fair... I am going to set some rules for myself:

-10 minutes a day. Posted that day if writing is done on my phone

-if writing is done in my notebook during the day. I give myself 1 day to transcribe it into a post.

- if I choose a tweet from @toastedcheese I will put the tweet at the beginning of the post

-if my writing is inspired by a photo, I will post the photo

I think that's it...I want to thank you for sticking with me last year. It was a lot of fun looking at the different countries that were looking at my blog. I really hope that you stick with me for this next year!

Day one starts tomorrow!

Day 365: last picture of the year!

Day 364: fancy schmancy hotel

Day 363: what a combination

Day 362: We Step into the Light

Day 362: happy pi day!

Day 361: spring is officially here!

Day 360: crazy cat

Day 359: more craftiness!

A dry erase calendar

Day 358: playing crafty...part one

It is so much better than the 3 m strips I was using...

Day 357: smiles at the circus

Day 356: More from the circus

Day 355: sassy responses on the EBI survey

Day 354: playing with a new app for my phone

Day 353: Dragons!

Day 352: yes I am 26 years old and yes I did buy a sippy cup at the circus

Day 351: Masala Chai to make my headache go away

Day 350: oh hi mom...I like this now...

Day 349: my residents are so clever

Day 348: oh hi mom...did you want this basket?

Day 347: Beyonce the Giant Metal Chicken saves the day!

Day 346: Happy Birthday Momma!

Day 345: Another blanket!

Day 344: lunch time picture and playing with instagram

Day 343: smile note during a staff meeting

Day 342: a "G" pancake!

Day 341: I miss Greece

Day 340: playing with instagram while trying to kick a headache

Day 339: Josie lee received her first valentine

Day 338: more appreciation for our student staff

Day 337: Happy Student Staff Appreciation Day!

Day 336: Groupon rocks my socks

Day 335: happy Valentine's Day!

I feel so loved

Day 334: cute little baby hat!

Day 333: I walked in on her doing this...

And before he gets angry that she was on the couch...I shooed her off right after I took the picture

Day 332: Sweedish Fish Vodka...wondering if it's worth it to try...

Day 331: All set up and no snow to plow...

Day 330: The things that my staff thinks up when I tell them to do the staff development for the meeting that day

Day 329: At least it was fluffy snow...

Day 328: one of my favorite sunset pictures ever.

This was taken at the Bahyaria Oasis...the person in the corner is my Mom

Day 327: The New Jersey Capitol building

Day 326: Fearlessness reminder

Day 325: Happy Valentines Day...love TCNJ

Day 324: I'm Lucky...

Day 323: An early Valentine's Day Present

Day 322: I had to...I just had to

Day 321: He pretends he's serious...

Day 320: Standing out in the crowd...